B'nei Mitzvah
B'nei Mitzvah
In the Havurah Shalom community, we enact our mission through values such as inclusivity, respect, participation, Torah, lovingkindness, sustainability, and transparency. The goals of the program we have developed for youth to become b’nei mitzvah are expressions of these same values:
- to make the preparation for b’nei mitzvah Jewishly meaningful
- to help families and children develop deeper connections within the Havurah community
- to provide some consistency across family experience
- to help maintain Havurah culture and values of participation and community investment
Expectations
The three-year cohort program begins when youth are of fifth grade age. The expectations are:
Grade 5 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in two “Discovering Shabbat” morning services or equivalent
Grade 6 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in Shabbat Morning Services
- Participation in parent or family workshops, such as “Whose B’nei Mitzvah is it Anyway?”
Grade 7 Families
- Participation in all of Middle School or, at least, b’nei mitzvah cohort classes (4-5 in autumn)
- Participation in b’nei mitzvah related parent or family workshops
- Attendance at cohort b’nei mitzvah
- Participation in or leading a Torah service prior to their own b’nei mitzvah
Questions?
If you have questions about the b'nei mitzvah process or other questions related to b'nei mitzvah planning, please contact Carrie Kirschner, our Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator.
For questions about date selection or changes, please contact Amanda Coffey, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Chair
For questions about a Mitzvah Project/Tikkun Olam Project please contact Laura Orgel, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Member
For any questions related to family dynamics and learning needs, contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner or Rabbi Benjamin.
B'nei Mitzvah Committee
Chaired by Amanda Coffey, the B'nei Mitzvah Committee helps arrange Havurah's b'nei mitzvah process. This includes collaborating with staff members to provide the workshops listed below, to create and maintain materials and resources, and to support families during the three-year journey. Committee members are Michael Evans, Julie Hastings, Judy Laura Orgel, Chari Smith, Abigail Webb, Liza Springgate and Sarah Shine.
B’nei Mitzvah Workshops for 2022-23
B'nei Mitzvah Cohort
Youths being called to the Torah this year will build community and ask, “What does being Jewish and becoming bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah mean to me?” Led by Rabbi Benjamin. 7:00-8:30 pm, Wednesdays, Oct. 19, 26 and Nov. 2, 9
B’nei Mitzvah Planning Logistics
Planning and setup at Havurah. A walk through the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook with Carrie Kirschner, Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator. 7:30 pm, Wednesday, Nov. 2
B’nei Mitzvah: Beginning the Journey/Date Selection
This workshop for parents will focus on the rite of passage itself, then on the date-selection process. Led by Rabbi Benjamin, Deborah Eisenbach-Budner and the B’nei Mitzvah Committee. 10-12 pm, Sunday, Feb. 26
Whose B'nei Mitzvah Is It Anyway?
This workshop is for families with students in grades 6 and 7 who haven't taken the workshop before. Like any life-cycle ceremony, b’nei mitzvah come to be about much more than the stated purpose – marking a passage of a child coming of age. What are some of the important explicit – and sometimes hidden – factors, choices, and messages? This workshop is not about logistics or expectations: it is about the meaning(s) of b'nei mitzvah and its power as a rite of passage for the whole family. Together we will explore the hopes and fears that inspire, inform, and complicate the preparation and planning process. How can we feel more connected to our child in this process? Our partner or ex-partner? Our family of origin? The rituals and liturgy? The community? How do we celebrate the occasion in a way that honors these connections and our values? This frank and non-judgmental workshop is about the big questions and how they impact the concrete decisions that parents and youth are called upon to make. Led by Deborah Eisenbach-Budner, Education Director, and Laura Orgel, Child & Family Therapist. 3:10-4:35 pm (during Shabbat School), Saturday, Apr. 29
Drash and Service Workshop
Rabbi Benjamin will guide students and parents in responding to the text with their own questions and walk through the Shabbat morning service. 7 pm, Thursday, Jun. 1
B'nei Mitzvah Even Planning 101
We will break the event planning process into manageable steps. Led by Chari Smith. 7:00-8:30pm Thursday, May 4
Please check our online calendar to confirm the dates and times above.
B'nei Mitzvah Schedule
Log in as a member to see the dates of Havurah's b'nei mitzvah.
Resources
- B’nei Mitzvah Handbook (PDF, updated January 2022)
- Additional Guidelines (PDF) for when your bar/bat mitzvah falls on a Shabbat School date
- Tutors & Musicians: For a current list, contact Carrie in the Havurah office at 503-248-4662 ext. 1.
- Order of Service: This valuable, editable chart walks you through each part of the Shabbat morning service, including page numbers in the siddur and suggestions for who can lead the various prayers. The chart is a companion to the music Havurah provides to b'nei mitzvah.
- Deborah Eisenbach-Budner’s Illustrated Guide to a Shabbat Morning Service (PDF)
- Being called up for an aliyah is an honor. These are the words to the blessings before and after a Torah reading. You can listen to recordings of the blessings below:
- Goleil Instructions - The Goleil or Gelilah dresses the Torah when a reading is done.
- Magbiah Instructions - The Magbiah lifts the Torah scroll after the reading.
- Sample Letter for Aliyah Invite & Other Honorees
Tue, May 30 2023
10 Sivan 5783
Need Help? If you are a Havurah member in need of help, log in to find resources here.
Havurah Updates
Hineinu: Opportunities to Come Together, Opportunities to Engage
Shavuot Begins Next Thursday Night: Join Us! Celebrate the start of Shavuot with all-night learning and lots of cheesecake!
Upcoming Events
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Wednesday ,
MayMay 31 , 2023
Wednesday, May 31st 6:00p to 8:00p
We are holding two sessions of a community support safety briefing for Havurah members. The Wednesday, May 31 evening session will be hybrid. The Sunday, June 4 morning session will be held on Zoom only (Zoom Room Bet). Havurah members are invited to attend either session. -
Thursday ,
JunJune 1 , 2023
Thursday, Jun 1st 7:00p to 8:15p
Rabbi Benjamin will guide students and parents in responding to the text with their own questions and walk through the Shabbat morning service. -
Saturday ,
JunJune 3 , 2023
Shabbat, Jun 3rd 10:00a to 12:00p
Led by community members and Rabbi Benjamin, this service includes davening, Torah reading, and discussion. We meet in person and in Zoom Room Aleph. Please email Rachel for Zoom info: rachel@havurahshalom.org. -
Sunday ,
JunJune 4 , 2023
Sunday, Jun 4th 10:00a to 4:00p
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Sunday ,
JunJune 4 , 2023
Sunday, Jun 4th 11:00a to 12:30p
We are holding two sessions of a community support safety briefing for Havurah members. The Wednesday, May 31 evening session will be hybrid. The Sunday, June 4 morning session will be held on Zoom only (Zoom Room Bet). Havurah members are invited to attend either session. -
Sunday ,
JunJune 4 , 2023
Sunday, Jun 4th 5:00p to 7:00p
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Sunday ,
JunJune 4 , 2023
Sunday, Jun 4th 6:30p to 8:30p
Please join the Racial Justice Committee for a discussion of the movie Judas and the Black Messiah. (Please watch the film ahead of time; it's available on several platforms.) This is the second film in a series to commemorate Juneteenth. In the film, an FBI informant infiltrates the Black Panthers to keep tabs on its charismatic leader, Fred Hampton. Critics describe the movie as a offering insight into a man and a movement that has been overlooked far too long. Although it takes place in the late '60s, the movie is, unfortunately, very relevant today. -
Monday ,
JunJune 5 , 2023
Monday, Jun 5th 1:00p to 4:00p
We are excited to bring mahjong back to Havurah. It is a fun, social activity that builds community, encouraging new friendships and cementing old ones. And while some of us may play elsewhere as well, we all agreed that restoring its place as an ongoing congregational activity will be a good fit for Havurah and those of us who play or want to learn the game. So please don't hesitate to join us! -
Monday ,
JunJune 5 , 2023
Monday, Jun 5th 5:00p to 6:00p
Please join Havurah Climate Action Team for ongoing discussion of how to face the climate crisis. We will read "I Want a Better Catastrophe, Navigating the Climate Crisis with Grief, Hope, and Gallows Humor," by Andrew Boyd. Through interviews with prominent climate scientists, indigenous teachers, and sociologists, Andrew Boyd takes us through the process of looking squarely at the crisis we are in, feeling our emotions, and using them to power our response to the climate crisis. Open to members and non-members. Discussions will follow the book. One need not attend all the discussions. For questions, reach out to Michael Heumann or Harriet Cooke. RSVP for updates. -
Monday ,
JunJune 5 , 2023
Monday, Jun 5th 6:00p to 8:00p
A course for transforming our antiracism efforts through Jewish spiritual practice. Facilitated by Rabbi Benjamin and María Lisa Johnson Learn concrete Jewish spiritual tools alongside other Havurah members to confront, subvert, and heal implicit and internalized racism within ourselves and others. This course explores the inner work necessary to change our habits of mind, body, and spirit to dismantle racism, in support of whatever organizing, advocacy, and service-work we’re each engaged in. Our core spiritual practice will be Mussar, the Jewish spiritual discipline designed to integrate what the head understands with what the heart feels through daily practice. Participants will be expected to attend every session (as much as possible) and commit to consistent practice in between sessions, including meeting with a learning partner once every other week. This is not an antiracism 101 course, but rather is intended to build on an existing antiracism foundation, so participants need to have an understanding of systemic racism in the United States. Please contact Rabbi Benjamin if you are interested in participating.