B'nei Mitzvah
B'nei Mitzvah
In the Havurah Shalom community, we enact our mission through values such as inclusivity, respect, participation, Torah, lovingkindness, sustainability, and transparency. The goals of the program we have developed for youth to become b’nei mitzvah are expressions of these same values:
- to make the preparation for b’nei mitzvah Jewishly meaningful
- to help families and children develop deeper connections within the Havurah community
- to provide some consistency across family experience
- to help maintain Havurah culture and values of participation and community investment
Expectations
The three-year cohort program begins when youth are of fifth grade age. The expectations are:
Grade 5 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in two “Discovering Shabbat” morning services or equivalent
Grade 6 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in Shabbat Morning Services
- Participation in parent or family workshops, such as “Whose B’nei Mitzvah is it Anyway?”
Grade 7 Families
- Participation in all of Middle School or, at least, b’nei mitzvah cohort classes (4-5 in autumn)
- Participation in b’nei mitzvah related parent or family workshops
- Attendance at cohort b’nei mitzvah
- Participation in or leading a Torah service prior to their own b’nei mitzvah
Questions?
If you have questions about the b'nei mitzvah process or other questions related to b'nei mitzvah planning, please contact Carrie Kirschner (carrie@havurahshalom.org), our Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator.
For questions about date selection or changes, please contact the B’nei Mitzvah Committee by sending an email to this email address: bnei-mitzvah@havurahshalom.org.
Havurah members, for the names and contact info of cluster leads, committee chairs, and some other Havurahniks in leadership roles, visit Havurah's Leadership Directory (log in to your Havurah Shalom member account for access).
For questions about a Mitzvah Project/Tikkun Olam Project please contact Carrie Kirschner, B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator
For any questions related to family dynamics and learning needs, contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner (deborah@havurahshalom.org) or, after he returns from his sabbatical on July 1, 2025, Rabbi Benjamin Barnett.
B'nei Mitzvah Committee
Led by the B'nei Mitzvah Committe co-chairs, the B'nei Mitzvah Committee helps arrange Havurah's b'nei mitzvah process. This includes collaborating with staff members to provide the workshops listed below, to create and maintain materials and resources, and to support families during the three-year journey.
Havurah members, for the names and contact info of cluster leads, committee chairs, and some other Havurahniks in leadership roles, visit Havurah's Leadership Directory (log in to your Havurah Shalom member account for access)
B’nei Mitzvah Workshops for 2024-25 (5785)
B'nei Mitzvah Cohort
Youths being called to the Torah this year will build community and ask, “What does being Jewish and becoming bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah mean to me?” Led by Rabbi Benjamin. Meets Oct. 23 and 30, Nov. 6 and 13, 6:30-8:30. Dinner is included.
B'nei Mitzvah Logistics Workshop
We will go over planning and setup at Havurah for a B'nei Mitzah. Includes a walk through the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook with Carrie Kirschner, Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator. Meets Oct. 30, 7:30-8:30
B’nei Mitzvah: Beginning the Journey/Date Selection
This workshop for parents with students in Grade 5 will focus on the rite of passage itself, then on the date-selection process. Led by the B’nei Mitzvah Committee and Staff. Meets Feb. 23, 10:00-12:00
Whose B'nei Mitzvah Is It Anyway?
This workshop is for families with students in grades 6 and 7 who haven't taken the workshop before. Like any life-cycle ceremony, b’nei mitzvah come to be about much more than the stated purpose – marking a passage of a child coming of age. What are some of the important explicit – and sometimes hidden – factors, choices, and messages? This workshop is not about logistics or expectations: it is about the meaning(s) of b'nei mitzvah and its power as a rite of passage for the whole family. Together we will explore the hopes and fears that inspire, inform, and complicate the preparation and planning process. How can we feel more connected to our child in this process? Our partner or ex-partner? Our family of origin? The rituals and liturgy? The community? How do we celebrate the occasion in a way that honors these connections and our values? This frank and non-judgmental workshop is about the big questions and how they impact the concrete decisions that parents and youth are called upon to make. Meets April 5, 3:10-4:30
Drash and Service Workshop
Students and parents are guided through responding to the text with their own questions and walked through the Shabbat morning service, with Sarah Shine Meets May 15, 7:00-8:00
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101
Chari Smith breaks the event planning process into manageable steps. Now available year round online -
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101 part 1
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101 part 2
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning worksheet
B'nei Mitzvah Treasury
Log in as a member to access the B'nei Mitzvah Treasury which includes expectations, calendars, list of tutors, the service outline and other important resources.
Resources
- B’nei Mitzvah Handbook (updates pending)
- Additional Guidelines (PDF) for when your bar/bat mitzvah falls on a Shabbat School date
- Deborah Eisenbach-Budner’s Illustrated Guide to a Shabbat Morning Service (PDF)
- Saturday Morning Service Melodies by Ilene Safyan
- Being called up for an aliyah is an honor. These are the words to the blessings before and after a Torah reading. You can listen to recordings of the blessings below:
- Goleil Instructions - The Goleil or Gelilah dresses the Torah when a reading is done.
- Magbiah Instructions - The Magbiah lifts the Torah scroll after the reading.
- Sample Letter for Aliyah Invite & Other Honorees
Sat, July 5 2025
9 Tammuz 5785
Need Help? If you are a Havurah member in need of help, log in to find resources here.
Havurah Updates
Hineinu: Kabbalat Shabbat & More Musical Shabbaton, New(ish) Member Welcome Brunch, Shavuot Approaches!
Join Our Musical Shabbaton, May 9 to 10,
with Musician-in-Residence Aly Halpert
- On Friday evening, May 9, all are welcome
Upcoming Events
IP = In person only (normally at Havurah Shalom);
ZM = On Zoom/online only;
HYB = In person and online; and
ANN = In person at Havurah's Annex.
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Friday ,
JulJuly 11 , 2025
Friday, Jul 11th 11:00a to 2:00p
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Friday ,
JulJuly 11 , 2025
Friday, Jul 11th 6:30p to 8:30p
Celebrate queer and Jewish joy and resistance with a special Kabbalat Shabbat service at Columbia Park! We’ll enjoy a potluck dinner together afterward. Beverages will be provided. BYOB. All are welcome. -
Saturday ,
JulJuly 12 , 2025
Shabbat, Jul 12th 10:00a to 12:00p
Led by community members and Rabbi Benjamin (who is on sabbatical until July 1, 2025), this service includes davening, Torah reading, and discussion. Join us afterward for a light community brunch provided by the Lunches and Noshes Committee! Free childcare is provided. For Zoom information, please email info@havurahshalom.org. -
Monday ,
JulJuly 14 , 2025
Monday, Jul 14th 11:00a to 2:00p
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Tuesday ,
JulJuly 15 , 2025
Tuesday, Jul 15th 6:30p to 8:30p
**Our Steering Meeting this month will be held on Tuesday, July 15 instead of on the usual day (second Tuesdays).** Steering members and staff will meet to consider matters of governance. All Havurah Shalom members are invited to attend Steering Committee meetings. For Zoom join links, visit havurahshalom.org/zoom (must be logged in) or call the office in advance for assistance (503-248-4662). -
Tuesday ,
JulJuly 15 , 2025
Tuesday, Jul 15th 7:00p to 8:30p
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Wednesday ,
JulJuly 16 , 2025
Wednesday, Jul 16th 1:00p to 2:00p
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Saturday ,
JulJuly 19 , 2025
Shabbat, Jul 19th 10:00a to 12:00p
Please join us for Shabbat morning services, including welcoming Sylvia Hartman as a Bat Mitzvah and member of our community. -
Sunday ,
JulJuly 20 , 2025
Sunday, Jul 20th 10:30a to 2:00p
Havurah is marching in Pride! Havurah Shalom is a parade contingent in the 2025 Portland Pride Parade. **Havurahniks, please RSVP to let us know you'll be marching with us in the Portland Pride Parade. It will really help us with planning and communications.** (Note: 10:30 am is when parade organizers have asked marchers to arrive by.) -
Monday ,
JulJuly 21 , 2025
Monday, Jul 21st 7:00p to 8:00p
Join us for our first meeting for the book "Not Too Late: Changing the Climate Story from Despair to Possibility."
Address: 825 NW 18th Ave, Portland OR 97209 Phone: 503-248-4662
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