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B'nei Mitzvah

B'nei Mitzvah

In the Havurah Shalom community, we enact our mission through values such as inclusivity, respect, participation, Torah, lovingkindness, sustainability, and transparency. The goals of the program we have developed for youth to become b’nei mitzvah are expressions of these same values:

  • to make the preparation for b’nei mitzvah Jewishly meaningful
  • to help families and children develop deeper connections within the Havurah community
  • to provide some consistency across family experience
  • to help maintain Havurah culture and values of participation and community investment

Expectations

The three-year cohort program begins when youth are of fifth grade age. The expectations are:

Grade 5 Families

  • Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
  • Participation in two “Discovering Shabbat” morning services or equivalent


Grade 6 Families

  • Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
  • Participation in Shabbat Morning Services
  • Participation in parent or family workshops, such as “Whose B’nei Mitzvah is it Anyway?”


Grade 7 Families

  • Participation in all of Middle School or, at least, b’nei mitzvah cohort classes (4-5 in autumn)
  • Participation in b’nei mitzvah related parent or family workshops
  • Attendance at cohort b’nei mitzvah
  • Participation in or leading a Torah service prior to their own b’nei mitzvah

Questions?

If you have questions about the b'nei mitzvah process or other questions related to b'nei mitzvah planning, please contact Carrie Kirschner (carrie@havurahshalom.org), our Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator.

For questions about date selection or changes, please contact the B’nei Mitzvah Committee by sending an email to this email address: bnei-mitzvah@havurahshalom.org.

Havurah members, for the names and contact info of cluster leads, committee chairs, and some other Havurahniks in leadership roles, visit Havurah's Leadership Directory (log in to your Havurah Shalom member account for access).

For questions about a Mitzvah Project/Tikkun Olam Project  please contact Carrie Kirschner, B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator

For any questions related to family dynamics and learning needs, contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner (deborah@havurahshalom.org) or, after he returns from his sabbatical on July 1, 2025, Rabbi Benjamin Barnett.

B'nei Mitzvah Committee

Led by the B'nei Mitzvah Committe co-chairs, the B'nei Mitzvah Committee helps arrange Havurah's b'nei mitzvah process. This includes collaborating with staff members to provide the workshops listed below, to create and maintain materials and resources, and to support families during the three-year journey.

Havurah members, for the names and contact info of cluster leads, committee chairs, and some other Havurahniks in leadership roles, visit Havurah's Leadership Directory (log in to your Havurah Shalom member account for access)

B’nei Mitzvah Workshops for 2024-25 (5785) 

B'nei Mitzvah Cohort

Youths being called to the Torah this year will build community and ask, “What does being Jewish and becoming bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah mean to me?” Led by Rabbi Benjamin.  Meets Oct. 23 and 30, Nov. 6 and 13, 6:30-8:30. Dinner is included.

B'nei Mitzvah Logistics Workshop

We will go over planning and setup at Havurah for a B'nei Mitzah. Includes a walk through the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook with Carrie Kirschner, Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator.  Meets Oct. 30, 7:30-8:30

B’nei Mitzvah: Beginning the Journey/Date Selection

This workshop for parents with students in Grade 5 will focus on the rite of passage itself, then on the date-selection process. Led by  the B’nei Mitzvah Committee and Staff.  Meets Feb. 23, 10:00-12:00

Whose B'nei Mitzvah Is It Anyway?

This workshop is for families with students in grades 6 and 7 who haven't taken the workshop before. Like any life-cycle ceremony, b’nei mitzvah come to be about much more than the stated purpose – marking a passage of a child coming of age. What are some of the important explicit – and sometimes hidden – factors, choices, and messages? This workshop is not about logistics or expectations: it is about the meaning(s) of b'nei mitzvah and its power as a rite of passage for the whole family. Together we will explore the hopes and fears that inspire, inform, and complicate the preparation and planning process. How can we feel more connected to our child in this process? Our partner or ex-partner? Our family of origin? The rituals and liturgy? The community? How do we celebrate the occasion in a way that honors these connections and our values? This frank and non-judgmental workshop is about the big questions and how they impact the concrete decisions that parents and youth are called upon to make. Meets April 5, 3:10-4:30

Drash and Service Workshop

Students and parents are guided through responding to the text with their own questions and walked through the Shabbat morning service, with Sarah Shine Meets May 15, 7:00-8:00

B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101

Chari Smith breaks the event planning process into manageable steps. Now available year round online -
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101 part 1
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101 part 2
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning worksheet

B'nei Mitzvah Treasury

Log in as a member to access the B'nei Mitzvah Treasury which includes expectations, calendars, list of tutors,  the service outline and other important resources.

Resources

Wed, April 30 2025 2 Iyyar 5785