B'nei Mitzvah
B'nei Mitzvah
In the Havurah Shalom community, we enact our mission through values such as inclusivity, respect, participation, Torah, lovingkindness, sustainability, and transparency. The goals of the program we have developed for youth to become b’nei mitzvah are expressions of these same values:
- to make the preparation for b’nei mitzvah Jewishly meaningful
- to help families and children develop deeper connections within the Havurah community
- to provide some consistency across family experience
- to help maintain Havurah culture and values of participation and community investment
Expectations
The three-year cohort program begins when youth are of fifth grade age. The expectations are:
Grade 5 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in two “Discovering Shabbat” morning services or equivalent
Grade 6 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in monthly Shabbat Morning Services
- Participation in parent or family workshops, such as “Whose B’nei Mitzvah is it Anyway?”
Grade 7 Families
- Participation in all of Middle School or, at least, b’nei mitzvah cohort classes (4-5 in autumn)
- Participation in b’nei mitzvah related parent or family workshops
- Attendance at cohort b’nei mitzvah
- Participation in or leading a Torah service prior to their own b’nei mitzvah
Questions?
If you have questions about the commitment that families are required to make before their child embarks on the b'nei mitzvah process or other questions related to b'nei mitzvah planning, please contact the appropriate person listed below:
- Date selection or changes, participation expectations, general questions, and support for the b’nei mitzvah journey – Amanda Coffey, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Chair
- Grade 5 Families – Deborah Eisenbach-Budner, Education Director
- Grade 6 Families – Adela Basayne, Program Director
- Grade 7 Families – Rabbi Benjamin (especially related to the B’nei Mitzvah Service and tutors)
- Mitzvah Project/Tikkun Olam Project – Laura Orgel, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Member
- Facility Use & Logistics – Rachel Pollak, Office & Facilities Manager
For any questions related to family dynamics and learning needs, contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner or Rabbi Benjamin.
B'nei Mitzvah Committee
Chaired by Amanda Coffey, the B'nei Mitzvah Committee helps arrange Havurah's b'nei mitzvah process. This includes collaborating with staff members to provide the workshops listed below, to create and maintain materials and resources, and to support families during the three-year journey. Committee members are Michael Evans, Julie Hastings, Judy Herzberg, Laura Orgel, Chari Smith, and Abigail Webb.
B’nei Mitzvah Workshops for 2021-22
B’nei Mitzvah Cohort
Youths being called to the Torah this year will build community and ask, “What does being Jewish and becoming bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah mean to me?” Led by Rabbi Benjamin. 6:45-8 pm, Wednesdays, Oct. 6, 13, 20, 27
B’nei Mitzvah Planning Logistics
Planning and setup at Havurah. A walk through the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook with Rachel Pollak, Havurah’s Office & Facilities Manager. 7 pm, Wednesday, Nov. 3
B’nei Mitzvah: Beginning the Journey/Date Selection
This workshop for parents will focus on the rite of passage itself, then on the date-selection process. Led by Rabbi Benjamin, Deborah Eisenbach-Budner and the B’nei Mitzvah Committee. 10-12 pm, Sunday, Feb. 27
Whose B'nei Mitzvah Is It Anyway?
This workshop is for families with students in grades 6 and 7 who haven't taken the workshop before. Like any life-cycle ceremony, b’nei mitzvah come to be about much more than the stated purpose – marking a passage of a child coming of age. What are some of the important explicit – and sometimes hidden – factors, choices, and messages? This workshop is not about logistics or expectations: it is about the meaning(s) of b'nei mitzvah and its power as a rite of passage for the whole family. Together we will explore the hopes and fears that inspire, inform, and complicate the preparation and planning process. How can we feel more connected to our child in this process? Our partner or ex-partner? Our family of origin? The rituals and liturgy? The community? How do we celebrate the occasion in a way that honors these connections and our values? This frank and non-judgmental workshop is about the big questions and how they impact the concrete decisions that parents and youth are called upon to make. Led by Deborah Eisenbach-Budner, Education Director, and Laura Orgel, Child & Family Therapist. 3:10-4:35 pm (during Shabbat School), Saturday, Apr. 9
Drash and Service Workshop
Rabbi Benjamin will guide students and parents in responding to the text with their own questions and walk through the Shabbat morning service. 7 pm, Wednesday, Jun. 1
Please check our online calendar to confirm the dates and times above.
B'nei Mitzvah Schedule
Log in as a member to see the dates of Havurah's b'nei mitzvah.
Resources
- B’nei Mitzvah Handbook (PDF, updated January 2022)
- Additional Guidelines (PDF) for when your bar/bat mitzvah falls on a Shabbat School date
- Tutors & Musicians: For a current list, contact Rachel in the Havurah office at 503-248-4662 ext. 2.
- Order of Service: This valuable, editable chart walks you through each part of the Shabbat morning service, including page numbers in the siddur and suggestions for who can lead the various prayers. The chart is a companion to the music Havurah provides to b'nei mitzvah.
- Deborah Eisenbach-Budner’s Illustrated Guide to a Shabbat Morning Service (PDF)
- Being called up for an aliyah is an honor. These are the words to the blessings before and after a Torah reading. You can listen to recordings of the blessings below:
- Goleil Instructions - The Goleil or Gelilah dresses the Torah when a reading is done.
- Magbiah Instructions - The Magbiah lifts the Torah scroll after the reading.
- Sample Letter for Aliyah Invite & Other Honorees
Sun, May 29 2022
28 Iyyar 5782
Need Help? If you are a Havurah member in need of help, log in to find resources here.
Upcoming Events
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Monday ,
MayMay 30 , 2022
Monday, May 30th 7:00p to 8:30p
We will read three novels that ponder the human response to severe trauma—William Styron's Sophie’s Choice, Toni Morrison's Beloved and Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things—and explore whether and how these novels illuminate how people process, integrate and adapt to traumatic events. -
Tuesday ,
MayMay 31 , 2022
Tuesday, May 31st 7:00p to 8:30p
Join the Leadership Development Committee for a two-part orientation for new Committee Chairs. We will be in Zoom Room Gimel. -
Wednesday ,
JunJune 1 , 2022
Wednesday, Jun 1st 7:00p to 8:30p
A thorough decoding of Exodus 13:17-17:16, Song of the Sea. We continue to build vocabulary and delve into what it means to escape oppression, rejoice, receive privilege at the expense of others, and keep moving. We will refer to ancient and modern midrashim (interpretation) that stem from the nuances of the Hebrew text. Basic Hebrew decoding ability needed (even slowly). Led by Deborah Eisenbach-Budner. We will meet in person and in Zoom Room Dalet. For login info, contact info@havurahshalom.org or see Hineinu. -
Wednesday ,
JunJune 1 , 2022
Wednesday, Jun 1st 7:00p to 8:15p
Rabbi Benjamin will guide students and parents in responding to the text with their own questions and walk through the Shabbat morning service. (Please check back close to the date of this event for information on gathering. Depending on circumstances, it may take place in person, on Zoom or both. If it will be accessed via Zoom, please use Zoom Room Heh. For login info, contact info@havurahshalom.org or see Hineinu.) -
Wednesday ,
JunJune 1 , 2022
Wednesday, Jun 1st 7:00p to 8:30p
For cohort members. (Members, please check back close to the date of this event for information on gathering. Depending on circumstances, it may take place in person, on Zoom or both. If it will be accessed via Zoom, please use Zoom Room Dalet. For login info, contact info@havurahshalom.org or see Hineinu.) -
Friday ,
JunJune 3 , 2022
Friday, Jun 3rd 10:00a to 12:00p
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Saturday ,
JunJune 4 , 2022
Shabbat, Jun 4th 10:00a to 12:00p
Please join us in welcoming Arianna Gammage as a Bat Mitzvah and member of our community. -
Sunday ,
JunJune 5 , 2022
Sunday, Jun 5th 10:00a to 12:00p
We will celebrate Shavuot with a morning service, including Yizkor and a short Torah service, and we will also welcome a new Torah to Havurah Shalom, lent by the Lager Family. Afterward, enjoy an oneg with simple dairy (and non-dairy!) treats. -
Monday ,
JunJune 6 , 2022
Monday, Jun 6th 12:00p to 4:00p
Mahjong meetups take place the first and third Monday of the month. At noon, we will offer a training session for beginners and those who want to brush up on their skills with experienced players, followed by the regularly scheduled game, which runs 1 to 4 pm. Based on interest, an evening option can be scheduled for people who are unable to attend during the day. Please contact Leah Hershey if you are interested. -
Monday ,
JunJune 6 , 2022
Monday, Jun 6th 5:30p to 6:30p
We are a group of Havurah members interested in climate social justice. We will be reading "Braiding Sweetgrass" to connect to indigenous wisdom about life and social action around the environment. We are reaching out to see if new people want to join our lively and joyful book discussions. Open to non-members as well as members. We will meet every other Monday through July 4.