B'nei Mitzvah
B'nei Mitzvah
In the Havurah Shalom community, we enact our mission through values such as inclusivity, respect, participation, Torah, lovingkindness, sustainability, and transparency. The goals of the program we have developed for youth to become b’nei mitzvah are expressions of these same values:
- to make the preparation for b’nei mitzvah Jewishly meaningful
- to help families and children develop deeper connections within the Havurah community
- to provide some consistency across family experience
- to help maintain Havurah culture and values of participation and community investment
Expectations
The three-year cohort program begins when youth are of fifth grade age. The expectations are:
Grade 5 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in two “Discovering Shabbat” morning services or equivalent
Grade 6 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in Shabbat Morning Services
- Participation in parent or family workshops, such as “Whose B’nei Mitzvah is it Anyway?”
Grade 7 Families
- Participation in all of Middle School or, at least, b’nei mitzvah cohort classes (4-5 in autumn)
- Participation in b’nei mitzvah related parent or family workshops
- Attendance at cohort b’nei mitzvah
- Participation in or leading a Torah service prior to their own b’nei mitzvah
Questions?
If you have questions about the b'nei mitzvah process or other questions related to b'nei mitzvah planning, please contact Carrie Kirschner, our Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator.
For questions about date selection or changes, please contact Liza Springgate and Sarah Shine, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Co Chairs
For questions about a Mitzvah Project/Tikkun Olam Project please contact Carrie Kirschner, B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator
For any questions related to family dynamics and learning needs, contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner or Rabbi Benjamin.
B'nei Mitzvah Committee
Co Chaired by Liza Springgate and Sarah Shine, the B'nei Mitzvah Committee helps arrange Havurah's b'nei mitzvah process. This includes collaborating with staff members to provide the workshops listed below, to create and maintain materials and resources, and to support families during the three-year journey. Other committee members include Miriam Reshotko and Miriam Budner.
B’nei Mitzvah Workshops for 2024-25 (5785)
B'nei Mitzvah Cohort
Youths being called to the Torah this year will build community and ask, “What does being Jewish and becoming bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah mean to me?” Led by Rabbi Benjamin. Meets Oct. 23 and 30, Nov. 6 and 13, 6:30-8:30. Dinner is included.
B'nei Mitzvah Logistics Workshop
We will go over planning and setup at Havurah for a B'nei Mitzah. Includes a walk through the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook with Carrie Kirschner, Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator. Meets Oct. 30, 7:30-8:30
B’nei Mitzvah: Beginning the Journey/Date Selection
This workshop for parents with students in Grade 5 will focus on the rite of passage itself, then on the date-selection process. Led by the B’nei Mitzvah Committee and Staff. Meets Feb. 23, 10:00-12:00
Whose B'nei Mitzvah Is It Anyway?
This workshop is for families with students in grades 6 and 7 who haven't taken the workshop before. Like any life-cycle ceremony, b’nei mitzvah come to be about much more than the stated purpose – marking a passage of a child coming of age. What are some of the important explicit – and sometimes hidden – factors, choices, and messages? This workshop is not about logistics or expectations: it is about the meaning(s) of b'nei mitzvah and its power as a rite of passage for the whole family. Together we will explore the hopes and fears that inspire, inform, and complicate the preparation and planning process. How can we feel more connected to our child in this process? Our partner or ex-partner? Our family of origin? The rituals and liturgy? The community? How do we celebrate the occasion in a way that honors these connections and our values? This frank and non-judgmental workshop is about the big questions and how they impact the concrete decisions that parents and youth are called upon to make. Meets April 5, 3:10-4:30
Drash and Service Workshop
Students and parents are guided through responding to the text with their own questions and walked through the Shabbat morning service, with Sarah Shine Meets May 15, 7:00-8:00
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101
Chari Smith breaks the event planning process into manageable steps. Now available year round online -
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101 part 1
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101 part 2
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning worksheet
B'nei Mitzvah Treasury
Log in as a member to access the B'nei Mitzvah Treasury which includes expectations, calendars, list of tutors, the service outline and other important resources.
Resources
- B’nei Mitzvah Handbook (updates pending)
- Additional Guidelines (PDF) for when your bar/bat mitzvah falls on a Shabbat School date
- Deborah Eisenbach-Budner’s Illustrated Guide to a Shabbat Morning Service (PDF)
- Saturday Morning Service Melodies by Ilene Safyan
- Being called up for an aliyah is an honor. These are the words to the blessings before and after a Torah reading. You can listen to recordings of the blessings below:
- Goleil Instructions - The Goleil or Gelilah dresses the Torah when a reading is done.
- Magbiah Instructions - The Magbiah lifts the Torah scroll after the reading.
- Sample Letter for Aliyah Invite & Other Honorees
Mon, February 10 2025
12 Shevat 5785
Need Help? If you are a Havurah member in need of help, log in to find resources here.
Havurah Updates
Upcoming Events
IP = In person only (normally at Havurah Shalom);
ZM = On Zoom/online only;
HYB = In person and online; and
ANN = In person at Havurah's Annex.
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Monday ,
FebFebruary 10 , 2025
Monday, Feb 10th 7:00p to 8:15p
Are you interested in learning how to chant the Torah? This beautiful, ancient system is a treat to learn, and inspiring to sing. A five-session class led by Ken Lerner will teach you everything you need in order to connect with this heritage, and become a proud “leyner” (Torah chanter). Ken has been a patient teacher of beginning Torah readers for over 30 years at Havurah, and would be happy to help you feel the satisfaction of gaining this skill. There is a minimum of three interested students to make the class a reality, and there is a limit of seven people. Please RSVP soon if you are interested, but no later than Jan. 15, 2025, and Ken will be in touch about the class. -
Monday ,
FebFebruary 10 , 2025
Monday, Feb 10th 7:00p to 8:30p
Monthly music jams are back! Tune your instrument, warm up your voice and head down to Havurah to jam with us. Join your fellow Havurah musicians for an evening of playing and singing together—for the joy of it! Jams are led by fellow Havurah members and are completely democratic--everyone chooses songs! Our songbook includes both Jewish and secular songs from a wide range of artists and eras. Please RSVP. -
Tuesday ,
FebFebruary 11 , 2025
Tuesday, Feb 11th 6:30p to 8:30p
Steering members and staff will meet to consider matters of governance. All Havurah Shalom members are invited to attend Steering Committee meetings. For Zoom join links, visit havurahshalom.org/zoom (must be logged in) or call the office in advance for assistance (503-248-4662). -
Tuesday ,
FebFebruary 11 , 2025
Tuesday, Feb 11th 7:00p to 9:00p
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Wednesday ,
FebFebruary 12 , 2025
Wednesday, Feb 12th 4:00p to 5:30p
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Wednesday ,
FebFebruary 12 , 2025
Wednesday, Feb 12th 6:30p to 8:30p
A Tikkun Olam opportunity in Collaboration with the Poverty and Homelessness Committee. We will assemble Welcome Home kits for Community Warehouse who will share them with folks moving into new homes. -
Wednesday ,
FebFebruary 12 , 2025
Wednesday, Feb 12th 6:30p to 8:30p
For Grades 9-12. -
Wednesday ,
FebFebruary 12 , 2025
Wednesday, Feb 12th 7:00p to 8:15p
(This class will now be starting on January 8.) Using an in-depth, word-by-word approach, we discover literal meaning(s), ancient layers of understanding, and our own personal interpretations that stem from the nuances of the Hebrew text. Basic Hebrew decoding skills necessary. -
Thursday ,
FebFebruary 13 , 2025
Thursday, Feb 13th 4:00p to 5:30p
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Thursday ,
FebFebruary 13 , 2025
Thursday, Feb 13th 5:30p to 7:00p
The Havurah Ma’avar Committee is offering a six-week grief process-support group for Havurah members in any stage of grief. Chaplain Candi Wuhrman will facilitate the group with a focus on the dying experience, the impact of the relationship, the things unsaid, making peace within ourselves, forgiveness, and continuing the relationship after death. (This group will be limited to eight participants. If we reach capacity, that will be indicated here on the RSVP page.)
Address: 825 NW 18th Ave, Portland OR 97209 Phone: 503-248-4662
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