B'nei Mitzvah
B'nei Mitzvah
In the Havurah Shalom community, we enact our mission through values such as inclusivity, respect, participation, Torah, lovingkindness, sustainability, and transparency. The goals of the program we have developed for youth to become b’nei mitzvah are expressions of these same values:
- to make the preparation for b’nei mitzvah Jewishly meaningful
- to help families and children develop deeper connections within the Havurah community
- to provide some consistency across family experience
- to help maintain Havurah culture and values of participation and community investment
Expectations
The three-year cohort program begins when youth are of fifth grade age. The expectations are:
Grade 5 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in two “Discovering Shabbat” morning services or equivalent
Grade 6 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in Shabbat Morning Services
- Participation in parent or family workshops, such as “Whose B’nei Mitzvah is it Anyway?”
Grade 7 Families
- Participation in all of Middle School or, at least, b’nei mitzvah cohort classes (4-5 in autumn)
- Participation in b’nei mitzvah related parent or family workshops
- Attendance at cohort b’nei mitzvah
- Participation in or leading a Torah service prior to their own b’nei mitzvah
Questions?
If you have questions about the b'nei mitzvah process or other questions related to b'nei mitzvah planning, please contact Carrie Kirschner, our Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator.
For questions about date selection or changes, please contact Amanda Coffey, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Chair
For questions about a Mitzvah Project/Tikkun Olam Project please contact Harriet Cooke, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Member
For any questions related to family dynamics and learning needs, contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner or Rabbi Benjamin.
B'nei Mitzvah Committee
Chaired by Amanda Coffey, the B'nei Mitzvah Committee helps arrange Havurah's b'nei mitzvah process. This includes collaborating with staff members to provide the workshops listed below, to create and maintain materials and resources, and to support families during the three-year journey. Committee members are Michael Evans, Julie Hastings, Judy Laura Orgel, Chari Smith, Abigail Webb, Liza Springgate, Sarah Shine and Miriam Budner.
B’nei Mitzvah Workshops for 2023-24 (5784)
B'nei Mitzvah Cohort
Youths being called to the Torah this year will build community and ask, “What does being Jewish and becoming bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah mean to me?” Led by Rabbi Benjamin. Meets Oct. 18, 25 and Nov. 1, 8, 6:30-8:30
B'nei Mitzvah Logistics Workshop
Planning and setup at Havurah. A walk through the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook with Carrie Kirschner, Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator. Meets Nov. 1, 7:30-8:30
B’nei Mitzvah: Beginning the Journey/Date Selection
This workshop for parents will focus on the rite of passage itself, then on the date-selection process. Led by Rabbi Benjamin, Deborah Eisenbach-Budner and the B’nei Mitzvah Committee. Meets Feb. 25, 10:00-12:00
Whose B'nei Mitzvah Is It Anyway?
This workshop is for families with students in grades 6 and 7 who haven't taken the workshop before. Like any life-cycle ceremony, b’nei mitzvah come to be about much more than the stated purpose – marking a passage of a child coming of age. What are some of the important explicit – and sometimes hidden – factors, choices, and messages? This workshop is not about logistics or expectations: it is about the meaning(s) of b'nei mitzvah and its power as a rite of passage for the whole family. Together we will explore the hopes and fears that inspire, inform, and complicate the preparation and planning process. How can we feel more connected to our child in this process? Our partner or ex-partner? Our family of origin? The rituals and liturgy? The community? How do we celebrate the occasion in a way that honors these connections and our values? This frank and non-judgmental workshop is about the big questions and how they impact the concrete decisions that parents and youth are called upon to make. Meets April 6, 3:10-4:30
Drash and Service Workshop
Rabbi Benjamin will guide students and parents in responding to the text with their own questions and walk through the Shabbat morning service. Meets June 6, 7pm
B'nei Mitzvah Even Planning 101
We will break the event planning process into manageable steps. Led by Chari Smith. Meets May 2, 7:00-8:30
Please check our online calendar to confirm the dates and times above.
B'nei Mitzvah Treasury
Log in as a member to access the B'nei Mitzvah Treasury which includes expectations, calendars, list of tutors, the service outline and other important resources.
Resources
- B’nei Mitzvah Handbook (updates pending)
- Additional Guidelines (PDF) for when your bar/bat mitzvah falls on a Shabbat School date
- Deborah Eisenbach-Budner’s Illustrated Guide to a Shabbat Morning Service (PDF)
- Saturday Morning Service Melodies by Ilene Safyan
- Being called up for an aliyah is an honor. These are the words to the blessings before and after a Torah reading. You can listen to recordings of the blessings below:
- Goleil Instructions - The Goleil or Gelilah dresses the Torah when a reading is done.
- Magbiah Instructions - The Magbiah lifts the Torah scroll after the reading.
- Sample Letter for Aliyah Invite & Other Honorees
Tue, March 19 2024
9 Adar II 5784
Need Help? If you are a Havurah member in need of help, log in to find resources here.
Havurah Updates
Hineinu: Purim is coming!! and lots more.
Havurah Purim Celebration
6 pm to 8 pm on Saturday, March 23 at Havurah Shalom
Come as you aren't! All are welcome! Fun f
Upcoming Events
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Tuesday ,
MarMarch 19 , 2024
Tuesday, Mar 19th 6:30p to 8:00p
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Wednesday ,
MarMarch 20 , 2024
Wednesday, Mar 20th 6:30p to 8:30p
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Wednesday ,
MarMarch 20 , 2024
Wednesday, Mar 20th 7:00p to 8:30p
Facilitated by Rabbi Benjamin. In this class, we’ll be exploring various ways in which the Divine is represented and imagined in Jewish tradition. Beyond simply the intellectual, our lens will be more one of spiritual reflection and practice. In other words: As we encounter and interact with the metaphors that the tradition offers for experiencing and connecting with God/Spirit/Life, what do we notice within our hearts and minds? How do particular images shape our consciousness and perception? As a guide for this exploration we will read Rabbi Toba Spitzer’s book, God is Here, which should be purchased for the class (contact Rabbi Benjamin for a free copy if needed). RSVP here by March 1. -
Thursday ,
MarMarch 21 , 2024
Thursday, Mar 21st (All day)
Click to learn how to submit your contributions to our monthly newsletter. The deadline for the April 2024 Hakol is Thursday, March 21. -
Thursday ,
MarMarch 21 , 2024
Thursday, Mar 21st 7:00p to 8:30p
Join the monthly meeting of the Racial Justice Committee to learn what we are up to and how you can be involved. Join us even if you haven't joined in the past. New members always welcome! Please note: While Racial Justice Committee Monthly Meetings normally meet on second Thursdays, this meeting will take place on March 21st. -
Saturday ,
MarMarch 23 , 2024
Shabbat, Mar 23rd 10:00a to 12:00p
Led by community members and Rabbi Benjamin, this service includes davening, Torah reading, and discussion. For Zoom link (Zoom Room Aleph), email info@havurahshalom.org. -
Saturday ,
MarMarch 23 , 2024
Shabbat, Mar 23rd 6:00p to 8:00p
All are invited to celebrate Purim at Havurah Shalom! Havurahniks: Check out our open volunteer roles for the Purim party (from decorating to teen helpers to bringing potluck snack items) and consider making Purim delicious by making hamantashen for the bake-off! -
Monday ,
MarMarch 25 , 2024
Monday, Mar 25th 6:00p to 7:30p
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Tuesday ,
MarMarch 26 , 2024
Tuesday, Mar 26th 6:30p to 8:30p
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Tuesday ,
MarMarch 26 , 2024
Tuesday, Mar 26th 7:00p to 8:30p
Bassam is a Palestinian Muslim who was imprisoned by Israeli officials for seven years. Rami is a Jewish man who was born in Israel and married into a well-heeled family that has some social capital in Israeli politics. But their lives, however circumscribed, are upended one after the other: first, Rami’s thirteen-year-old daughter, Smadar, becomes the victim of suicide bombers; a decade later, Bassam’s ten-year-old daughter, Abir, is killed by a rubber bullet from an Israeli soldier. Rami and Bassam had been raised to hate one another. And yet, when they learn of each other’s stories, they recognize the loss that connects them. The two men come together, across the animosity and violence of their respective home nations, over a shared desire to spread a message of education, understanding, and the end of Israel’s occupation of Palestine. Discussion led by Marjorie Walters. Nonmembers welcome. RSVP for Zoom info.