B'nei Mitzvah
B'nei Mitzvah
In the Havurah Shalom community, we enact our mission through values such as inclusivity, respect, participation, Torah, lovingkindness, sustainability, and transparency. The goals of the program we have developed for youth to become b’nei mitzvah are expressions of these same values:
- to make the preparation for b’nei mitzvah Jewishly meaningful
- to help families and children develop deeper connections within the Havurah community
- to provide some consistency across family experience
- to help maintain Havurah culture and values of participation and community investment
Expectations
The three-year cohort program begins when youth are of fifth grade age. The expectations are:
Grade 5 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in two “Discovering Shabbat” morning services or equivalent
Grade 6 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in Shabbat Morning Services
- Participation in parent or family workshops, such as “Whose B’nei Mitzvah is it Anyway?”
Grade 7 Families
- Participation in all of Middle School or, at least, b’nei mitzvah cohort classes (4-5 in autumn)
- Participation in b’nei mitzvah related parent or family workshops
- Attendance at cohort b’nei mitzvah
- Participation in or leading a Torah service prior to their own b’nei mitzvah
Questions?
If you have questions about the b'nei mitzvah process or other questions related to b'nei mitzvah planning, please contact Carrie Kirschner, our Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator.
For questions about date selection or changes, please contact Amanda Coffey, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Chair
For questions about a Mitzvah Project/Tikkun Olam Project please contact Harriet Cooke, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Member
For any questions related to family dynamics and learning needs, contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner or Rabbi Benjamin.
B'nei Mitzvah Committee
Chaired by Amanda Coffey, the B'nei Mitzvah Committee helps arrange Havurah's b'nei mitzvah process. This includes collaborating with staff members to provide the workshops listed below, to create and maintain materials and resources, and to support families during the three-year journey. Committee members are Michael Evans, Julie Hastings, Judy Laura Orgel, Chari Smith, Abigail Webb, Liza Springgate, Sarah Shine and Miriam Budner.
B’nei Mitzvah Workshops for 2023-24 (5784)
B'nei Mitzvah Cohort
Youths being called to the Torah this year will build community and ask, “What does being Jewish and becoming bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah mean to me?” Led by Rabbi Benjamin. Meets Oct. 18, 25 and Nov. 1, 8, 6:30-8:30
B'nei Mitzvah Logistics Workshop
Planning and setup at Havurah. A walk through the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook with Carrie Kirschner, Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator. Meets Nov. 1, 7:30-8:30
B’nei Mitzvah: Beginning the Journey/Date Selection
This workshop for parents will focus on the rite of passage itself, then on the date-selection process. Led by Rabbi Benjamin, Deborah Eisenbach-Budner and the B’nei Mitzvah Committee. Meets Feb. 25, 10:00-12:00
Whose B'nei Mitzvah Is It Anyway?
This workshop is for families with students in grades 6 and 7 who haven't taken the workshop before. Like any life-cycle ceremony, b’nei mitzvah come to be about much more than the stated purpose – marking a passage of a child coming of age. What are some of the important explicit – and sometimes hidden – factors, choices, and messages? This workshop is not about logistics or expectations: it is about the meaning(s) of b'nei mitzvah and its power as a rite of passage for the whole family. Together we will explore the hopes and fears that inspire, inform, and complicate the preparation and planning process. How can we feel more connected to our child in this process? Our partner or ex-partner? Our family of origin? The rituals and liturgy? The community? How do we celebrate the occasion in a way that honors these connections and our values? This frank and non-judgmental workshop is about the big questions and how they impact the concrete decisions that parents and youth are called upon to make. Meets April 6, 3:10-4:30
Drash and Service Workshop
Rabbi Benjamin will guide students and parents in responding to the text with their own questions and walk through the Shabbat morning service. Meets June 6, 7pm
B'nei Mitzvah Even Planning 101
We will break the event planning process into manageable steps. Led by Chari Smith. Meets May 2, 7:00-8:30
Please check our online calendar to confirm the dates and times above.
B'nei Mitzvah Treasury
Log in as a member to access the B'nei Mitzvah Treasury which includes expectations, calendars, list of tutors, the service outline and other important resources.
Resources
- B’nei Mitzvah Handbook (updates pending)
- Additional Guidelines (PDF) for when your bar/bat mitzvah falls on a Shabbat School date
- Deborah Eisenbach-Budner’s Illustrated Guide to a Shabbat Morning Service (PDF)
- Saturday Morning Service Melodies by Ilene Safyan
- Being called up for an aliyah is an honor. These are the words to the blessings before and after a Torah reading. You can listen to recordings of the blessings below:
- Goleil Instructions - The Goleil or Gelilah dresses the Torah when a reading is done.
- Magbiah Instructions - The Magbiah lifts the Torah scroll after the reading.
- Sample Letter for Aliyah Invite & Other Honorees
Sat, July 27 2024
21 Tammuz 5784
Need Help? If you are a Havurah member in need of help, log in to find resources here.
Havurah Updates
Hineinu: Pride Shabbat in the Park This Friday, Call for Visual Art, and More
Havurah's Pride Shabbat in the Park
6:30 pm to 8:30 pm (6:30 pm Service, 7:30 pm Potluck Dinner), Friday, July 19
Upcoming Events
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Saturday ,
JulJuly 27 , 2024
Shabbat, Jul 27th 10:00a to 12:00p
Led by community members and Rabbi Benjamin, this service includes davening, Torah reading, and discussion. For Zoom link (Zoom Room Aleph), email info@havurahshalom.org. -
Monday ,
JulJuly 29 , 2024
Monday, Jul 29th 6:00p to 7:30p
We will resume our monthly letter writing on the last Monday of each month to write letters to our lawmakers for Israel/Palestine justice. Questions? Contact David Lewis. Havurah members and non-members welcome. RSVP for Zoom info. -
Thursday ,
AugAugust 1 , 2024
Thursday, Aug 1st 5:30p to 7:00p
The Havurah Ma’avar Committee is offering a six-week grief process-support group for Havurah members. Each group session will be held virtually Thursday evenings, 5:30 pm - 7:00 pm, beginning July 11 through August 15. Chaplain Candi Wuhrman will facilitate the group with a focus on the dying experience, the impact of the relationship, the things unsaid, making peace within ourselves, forgiveness, and continuing the relationship after death. -
Saturday ,
AugAugust 3 , 2024
Shabbat, Aug 3rd 10:00a to 12:00p
Led by community members and Rabbi Benjamin, this service includes davening, Torah reading, and discussion. For Zoom link (Zoom Room Aleph), email info@havurahshalom.org. -
Monday ,
AugAugust 5 , 2024
Monday, Aug 5th 1:00p to 4:00p
We are excited to bring mahjong back to Havurah. It is a fun, social activity that builds community, encouraging new friendships and cementing old ones. And while some of us may play elsewhere as well, we all agreed that restoring its place as an ongoing congregational activity will be a good fit for Havurah and those of us who play or want to learn the game. So please don't hesitate to join us! For Havurah members and prospective members. -
Monday ,
AugAugust 5 , 2024
Monday, Aug 5th 7:00p to 8:15p
A gender-inclusive New Moon group, learning and celebrating each Rosh Ḥodesh with ancient and contemporary ritual. Open to any and all genders, inviting each to connect with our closest heavenly body, the Moon. An introductory meeting will happen on the full moon of Elul on Wednesday, Aug. 30 outdoors—weather permitting—in North Portland. Subsequent meetings will be on or near the new moon of each month either in person in North Portland or on Zoom, depending on seasonal shifts in the weather. Attend any or all sessions. RSVP to be updated on location and other details throughout the year. -
Thursday ,
AugAugust 8 , 2024
Thursday, Aug 8th 5:30p to 7:00p
The Havurah Ma’avar Committee is offering a six-week grief process-support group for Havurah members. Each group session will be held virtually Thursday evenings, 5:30 pm - 7:00 pm, beginning July 11 through August 15. Chaplain Candi Wuhrman will facilitate the group with a focus on the dying experience, the impact of the relationship, the things unsaid, making peace within ourselves, forgiveness, and continuing the relationship after death. -
Friday ,
AugAugust 9 , 2024
Friday, Aug 9th 10:00a to 12:00p
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Saturday ,
AugAugust 10 , 2024
Shabbat, Aug 10th 10:00a to 12:00p
Please join us in welcoming Sebastian Mellman as a Bar Mitzvah and member of our community. -
Monday ,
AugAugust 12 , 2024
Monday, Aug 12th 8:00p to 9:30p
Tisha B’Av is a powerful holy day in our cycle of Jewish time. Yet, it is often overlooked, considered as just a day of mourning for the destruction of the temples. We will look at how Tisha B’Av came to be the collecting point of Jewish loss, grief, and displacement as well as what Alan Lew calls “the moment of turning, the moment when we turn away from denial and begin to face exile and alienation as they manifest themselves in our own lives...Teshuvah – turning is the essential gesture of the entire High Holiday season.” We will also commemorate Tisha B’av with a short ritual that helps us being the process of Teshuvah. All are welcome. Stay tuned for an update on the location/medium of delivery: This event will be at Havurah Shalom and/or on Zoom. Havurahniks, please contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner, deborah@havurahshalom.org if you would like to help plan this ritual.