B'nei Mitzvah
B'nei Mitzvah
In the Havurah Shalom community, we enact our mission through values such as inclusivity, respect, participation, Torah, lovingkindness, sustainability, and transparency. The goals of the program we have developed for youth to become b’nei mitzvah are expressions of these same values:
- to make the preparation for b’nei mitzvah Jewishly meaningful
- to help families and children develop deeper connections within the Havurah community
- to provide some consistency across family experience
- to help maintain Havurah culture and values of participation and community investment
Expectations
The three-year cohort program begins when youth are of fifth grade age. The expectations are:
Grade 5 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in two “Discovering Shabbat” morning services or equivalent
Grade 6 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in Shabbat Morning Services
- Participation in parent or family workshops, such as “Whose B’nei Mitzvah is it Anyway?”
Grade 7 Families
- Participation in all of Middle School or, at least, b’nei mitzvah cohort classes (4-5 in autumn)
- Participation in b’nei mitzvah related parent or family workshops
- Attendance at cohort b’nei mitzvah
- Participation in or leading a Torah service prior to their own b’nei mitzvah
Questions?
If you have questions about the b'nei mitzvah process or other questions related to b'nei mitzvah planning, please contact Carrie Kirschner (carrie@havurahshalom.org), our Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator.
For questions about date selection or changes, please contact the B’nei Mitzvah Committee by sending an email to this email address: bnei-mitzvah@havurahshalom.org.
Havurah members, for the names and contact info of cluster leads, committee chairs, and some other Havurahniks in leadership roles, visit Havurah's Leadership Directory (log in to your Havurah Shalom member account for access).
For questions about a Mitzvah Project/Tikkun Olam Project please contact Carrie Kirschner, B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator
For any questions related to family dynamics and learning needs, contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner (deborah@havurahshalom.org) or, after he returns from his sabbatical on July 1, 2025, Rabbi Benjamin Barnett.
B'nei Mitzvah Committee
Led by the B'nei Mitzvah Committe co-chairs, the B'nei Mitzvah Committee helps arrange Havurah's b'nei mitzvah process. This includes collaborating with staff members to provide the workshops listed below, to create and maintain materials and resources, and to support families during the three-year journey.
Havurah members, for the names and contact info of cluster leads, committee chairs, and some other Havurahniks in leadership roles, visit Havurah's Leadership Directory (log in to your Havurah Shalom member account for access)
B’nei Mitzvah Workshops for 2024-25 (5785)
B'nei Mitzvah Cohort
Youths being called to the Torah this year will build community and ask, “What does being Jewish and becoming bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah mean to me?” Led by Rabbi Benjamin. Meets Oct. 23 and 30, Nov. 6 and 13, 6:30-8:30. Dinner is included.
B'nei Mitzvah Logistics Workshop
We will go over planning and setup at Havurah for a B'nei Mitzah. Includes a walk through the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook with Carrie Kirschner, Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator. Meets Oct. 30, 7:30-8:30
B’nei Mitzvah: Beginning the Journey/Date Selection
This workshop for parents with students in Grade 5 will focus on the rite of passage itself, then on the date-selection process. Led by the B’nei Mitzvah Committee and Staff. Meets Feb. 23, 10:00-12:00
Whose B'nei Mitzvah Is It Anyway?
This workshop is for families with students in grades 6 and 7 who haven't taken the workshop before. Like any life-cycle ceremony, b’nei mitzvah come to be about much more than the stated purpose – marking a passage of a child coming of age. What are some of the important explicit – and sometimes hidden – factors, choices, and messages? This workshop is not about logistics or expectations: it is about the meaning(s) of b'nei mitzvah and its power as a rite of passage for the whole family. Together we will explore the hopes and fears that inspire, inform, and complicate the preparation and planning process. How can we feel more connected to our child in this process? Our partner or ex-partner? Our family of origin? The rituals and liturgy? The community? How do we celebrate the occasion in a way that honors these connections and our values? This frank and non-judgmental workshop is about the big questions and how they impact the concrete decisions that parents and youth are called upon to make. Meets April 5, 3:10-4:30
Drash and Service Workshop
Students and parents are guided through responding to the text with their own questions and walked through the Shabbat morning service, with Sarah Shine Meets May 15, 7:00-8:00
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101
Chari Smith breaks the event planning process into manageable steps. Now available year round online -
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101 part 1
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning 101 part 2
B'nei Mitzvah Event Planning worksheet
B'nei Mitzvah Treasury
Log in as a member to access the B'nei Mitzvah Treasury which includes expectations, calendars, list of tutors, the service outline and other important resources.
Resources
- B’nei Mitzvah Handbook (updates pending)
- Additional Guidelines (PDF) for when your bar/bat mitzvah falls on a Shabbat School date
- Deborah Eisenbach-Budner’s Illustrated Guide to a Shabbat Morning Service (PDF)
- Saturday Morning Service Melodies by Ilene Safyan
- Being called up for an aliyah is an honor. These are the words to the blessings before and after a Torah reading. You can listen to recordings of the blessings below:
- Goleil Instructions - The Goleil or Gelilah dresses the Torah when a reading is done.
- Magbiah Instructions - The Magbiah lifts the Torah scroll after the reading.
- Sample Letter for Aliyah Invite & Other Honorees
Sat, May 24 2025
26 Iyyar 5785
Need Help? If you are a Havurah member in need of help, log in to find resources here.
Havurah Updates
Hineinu: Kabbalat Shabbat & More Musical Shabbaton, New(ish) Member Welcome Brunch, Shavuot Approaches!
Join Our Musical Shabbaton, May 9 to 10,
with Musician-in-Residence Aly Halpert
- On Friday evening, May 9, all are welcome
Upcoming Events
IP = In person only (normally at Havurah Shalom);
ZM = On Zoom/online only;
HYB = In person and online; and
ANN = In person at Havurah's Annex.
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Sunday ,
MayMay 25 , 2025
Sunday, May 25th 7:00p to 8:15p
A gender-inclusive New Moon group, learning and celebrating each Rosh Ḥodesh with ancient and contemporary ritual. Open to any and all genders, inviting each to connect with our closest heavenly body, the Moon. An introductory meeting will happen on the full moon of Elul on Wednesday, Aug. 30 outdoors—weather permitting—in North Portland. Subsequent meetings will be on or near the new moon of each month either in person in North Portland or on Zoom, depending on seasonal shifts in the weather. Attend any or all sessions. RSVP to be updated on location and other details throughout the year. -
Monday ,
MayMay 26 , 2025
Monday, May 26th (All day)
We are taking May off for Memorial Day. See you in June! We hold monthly letter writing group Zoom gatherings to write letters to our lawmakers for Israel/Palestine justice. Questions? Email Dale Oller (member log-in required to access directory). Feel free to drop in any time! There’s no need to RSVP, but please do RSVP if you need the Zoom login. Non-Havurah-members very welcome as well. -
Tuesday ,
MayMay 27 , 2025
Tuesday, May 27th 7:00p to 8:30p
The Havurah Shalom Book Group meets monthly to discuss fiction and nonfiction books voted on by Havurah members. All are welcome to any and all meetings. Copies of our upcoming books can be checked out by members in the Havurah library. *This is the last meeting for the year. We will start up again in September 2025.* -
Wednesday ,
MayMay 28 , 2025
Wednesday, May 28th 7:00p to 8:15p
(This class will now be starting on January 8.) Using an in-depth, word-by-word approach, we discover literal meaning(s), ancient layers of understanding, and our own personal interpretations that stem from the nuances of the Hebrew text. Basic Hebrew decoding skills necessary. -
Saturday ,
MayMay 31 , 2025
Shabbat, May 31st 10:00a to 12:00p
Led by community members and Rabbi Benjamin (who is on sabbatical until July 1, 2025), this service includes davening, Torah reading, and discussion. Join us afterward for a light community brunch provided by the Lunches and Noshes Committee! Free childcare is provided. For Zoom information, please email info@havurahshalom.org. -
Saturday ,
MayMay 31 , 2025
Shabbat, May 31st 2:00p to 3:30p
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Sunday ,
JunJune 1 , 2025
Sunday, Jun 1st 1:00p to 2:00p
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Sunday ,
JunJune 1 , 2025
Sunday, Jun 1st 4:30p to 6:00p
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Sunday ,
JunJune 1 , 2025
Sunday, Jun 1st 7:00p to 11:00p
Please RSVP and join us for a night of noshing, music, and learning! Click here to learn more & RSVP. All are welcome! -
Tuesday ,
JunJune 3 , 2025
Tuesday, Jun 3rd 8:00a to 9:15a
For all who want a regular prayer practice and for people saying Kaddish. Today's service will include Yizkor for Shavuot. We meet both in person and streaming online in Zoom Room Aleph. All are welcome. Please email info@havurahshalom.org for join info.
Address: 825 NW 18th Ave, Portland OR 97209 Phone: 503-248-4662
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