B'nei Mitzvah
B'nei Mitzvah
In the Havurah Shalom community, we enact our mission through values such as inclusivity, respect, participation, Torah, lovingkindness, sustainability, and transparency. The goals of the program we have developed for youth to become b’nei mitzvah are expressions of these same values:
- to make the preparation for b’nei mitzvah Jewishly meaningful
- to help families and children develop deeper connections within the Havurah community
- to provide some consistency across family experience
- to help maintain Havurah culture and values of participation and community investment
Expectations
The three-year cohort program begins when youth are of fifth grade age. The expectations are:
Grade 5 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in two “Discovering Shabbat” morning services or equivalent
Grade 6 Families
- Participation in Shabbat School (or equivalent if Shabbat School is not appropriate for family for specific reasons; determined by Education Director and Rabbi)
- Participation in Shabbat Morning Services
- Participation in parent or family workshops, such as “Whose B’nei Mitzvah is it Anyway?”
Grade 7 Families
- Participation in all of Middle School or, at least, b’nei mitzvah cohort classes (4-5 in autumn)
- Participation in b’nei mitzvah related parent or family workshops
- Attendance at cohort b’nei mitzvah
- Participation in or leading a Torah service prior to their own b’nei mitzvah
Questions?
If you have questions about the b'nei mitzvah process or other questions related to b'nei mitzvah planning, please contact Carrie Kirschner, our Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator.
For questions about date selection or changes, please contact Amanda Coffey, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Chair
For questions about a Mitzvah Project/Tikkun Olam Project please contact Harriet Cooke, B’nei Mitzvah Committee Member
For any questions related to family dynamics and learning needs, contact Deborah Eisenbach-Budner or Rabbi Benjamin.
B'nei Mitzvah Committee
Chaired by Amanda Coffey, the B'nei Mitzvah Committee helps arrange Havurah's b'nei mitzvah process. This includes collaborating with staff members to provide the workshops listed below, to create and maintain materials and resources, and to support families during the three-year journey. Committee members are Michael Evans, Julie Hastings, Judy Laura Orgel, Chari Smith, Abigail Webb, Liza Springgate, Sarah Shine and Miriam Budner.
B’nei Mitzvah Workshops for 2023-24 (5784)
B'nei Mitzvah Cohort
Youths being called to the Torah this year will build community and ask, “What does being Jewish and becoming bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah mean to me?” Led by Rabbi Benjamin. Meets Oct. 18, 25 and Nov. 1, 8, 6:30-8:30
B'nei Mitzvah Logistics Workshop
Planning and setup at Havurah. A walk through the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook with Carrie Kirschner, Youth Education and B'nei Mitzvah Program Coordinator. Meets Nov. 1, 7:30-8:30
B’nei Mitzvah: Beginning the Journey/Date Selection
This workshop for parents will focus on the rite of passage itself, then on the date-selection process. Led by Rabbi Benjamin, Deborah Eisenbach-Budner and the B’nei Mitzvah Committee. Meets Feb. 25, 10:00-12:00
Whose B'nei Mitzvah Is It Anyway?
This workshop is for families with students in grades 6 and 7 who haven't taken the workshop before. Like any life-cycle ceremony, b’nei mitzvah come to be about much more than the stated purpose – marking a passage of a child coming of age. What are some of the important explicit – and sometimes hidden – factors, choices, and messages? This workshop is not about logistics or expectations: it is about the meaning(s) of b'nei mitzvah and its power as a rite of passage for the whole family. Together we will explore the hopes and fears that inspire, inform, and complicate the preparation and planning process. How can we feel more connected to our child in this process? Our partner or ex-partner? Our family of origin? The rituals and liturgy? The community? How do we celebrate the occasion in a way that honors these connections and our values? This frank and non-judgmental workshop is about the big questions and how they impact the concrete decisions that parents and youth are called upon to make. Meets April 6, 3:10-4:30
Drash and Service Workshop
Rabbi Benjamin will guide students and parents in responding to the text with their own questions and walk through the Shabbat morning service. Meets June 6, 7pm
B'nei Mitzvah Even Planning 101
We will break the event planning process into manageable steps. Led by Chari Smith. Meets May 2, 7:00-8:30
Please check our online calendar to confirm the dates and times above.
B'nei Mitzvah Treasury
Log in as a member to access the B'nei Mitzvah Treasury which includes expectations, calendars, list of tutors, the service outline and other important resources.
Resources
- B’nei Mitzvah Handbook (updates pending)
- Additional Guidelines (PDF) for when your bar/bat mitzvah falls on a Shabbat School date
- Deborah Eisenbach-Budner’s Illustrated Guide to a Shabbat Morning Service (PDF)
- Saturday Morning Service Melodies by Ilene Safyan
- Being called up for an aliyah is an honor. These are the words to the blessings before and after a Torah reading. You can listen to recordings of the blessings below:
- Goleil Instructions - The Goleil or Gelilah dresses the Torah when a reading is done.
- Magbiah Instructions - The Magbiah lifts the Torah scroll after the reading.
- Sample Letter for Aliyah Invite & Other Honorees
Sat, April 27 2024
19 Nisan 5784
Need Help? If you are a Havurah member in need of help, log in to find resources here.
Havurah Updates
Hineinu: Havurahnik Seder Matching Continues, Kabbalat Shabbbat on Friday, and Much More!
Passover Seder Matching Continues
Havurahniks, can you share a seat at your seder table? Or, are you a Havurahnik looking
Upcoming Events
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Saturday ,
AprApril 27 , 2024
Shabbat, Apr 27th 10:00a to 12:00p
Please join us in welcoming Beatrice Weiss Ekstrom as a Bat Mitzvah and member of our community. -
Sunday ,
AprApril 28 , 2024
Sunday, Apr 28th 11:00a to 1:00p
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Sunday ,
AprApril 28 , 2024
Sunday, Apr 28th 12:00p to 4:00p
HCAT invites you to continue with our climate action month by attending a community wide Climate Action Fair at the Mittleman Jewish Community Center. Cosponsored by the MJCC and the Jewish Federation’s Climate team, meet dozens of environmental organizations and discover resources for actions you can take. A series of speakers will talk about forestry, electrification, native plants and climate friendly foods. (And let Elianne Lieberman know if you can give someone a ride or are seeking a ride!) -
Sunday ,
AprApril 28 , 2024
Sunday, Apr 28th 1:00p to 5:00p
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Monday ,
AprApril 29 , 2024
Monday, Apr 29th 5:30p to 7:00p
Join the Climate Action Team's monthly meeting in Zoom Room Gimel. -
Tuesday ,
AprApril 30 , 2024
Tuesday, Apr 30th 8:00a to 9:15a
For all who want a regular prayer practice and for people saying Kaddish. We will observe Yizkor today as well. We meet both in person and streaming online in Zoom Room Aleph. All are welcome. Please email info@havurahshalom.org for join info. -
Tuesday ,
AprApril 30 , 2024
Tuesday, Apr 30th 7:00p to 7:30p
[RSVP to be emailed a recording of the April 9 intro session.] The Omer is an ancient tradition marking time between the Exodus from the Narrow Place to the Expanse at Sinai. Explore tools and practices to facilitate your own learning and experience from Liberation to Revelation. We will have an intro class followed by half-hour check-ins, one for each Sephira. Led by Andrine de la Rocha. 7 pm, Tuesdays, Apr. 9 (Intro), 23 (Chesed), 30 (Gevurah); May 7 (Tiferet), 14 (Netzach), 21 (Hod), 28 (Yesod); Jun. 4 (Malchut) Led by Andrine de la Rocha. -
Tuesday ,
AprApril 30 , 2024
Tuesday, Apr 30th 7:00p to 8:30p
February 1862. The Civil War is less than one year old. The fighting has begun in earnest, and the nation has begun to realize it is in for a long, bloody struggle. Meanwhile, President Lincoln’s beloved eleven-year-old son, Willie, lies upstairs in the White House, gravely ill. In a matter of days, despite predictions of a recovery, Willie dies and is laid to rest in a Georgetown cemetery. “My poor boy, he was too good for this earth,” the president says at the time. “God has called him home.” Newspapers report that a grief-stricken Lincoln returns, alone, to the crypt several times to hold his boy’s body. From that seed of historical truth, George Saunders spins an unforgettable story of familial love and loss that breaks free of its realistic, historical framework into a supernatural realm both hilarious and terrifying. -
Thursday ,
MayMay 2 , 2024
Thursday, May 2nd 11:00a to 3:00p
This exhibit is about science and art. It is meant to be a learning experience, about the top 60 solutions to climate change, as researched by over 5,000 scientists. And most importantly it is about hope. It is about learning about these solutions to climate change and changing the hearts and minds of those around us, so that we can all work together. Anne Nesse, 2024 -
Thursday ,
MayMay 2 , 2024
Thursday, May 2nd 7:00p to 8:30p
We will break the event planning process into manageable steps. Led by Chari Smith. We will meet in Zoom room Gimel