Havurah Shalom

They May Not Mean To But They Do by Catherine Schine

This is a compact novel about family, loss, aging and resilience. The early chapters dramatize how Joy’s husband’s fall through palliative care to hospice to death takes a toll on her, their children and grandchildren. While mourning her husband and her life, Joy suffers a minor stroke and a scary infection. She begins to feel ‘out of date, obsolete, and left-behind;’ useless to anyone. 'She didn’t seem to belong anywhere anymore.’

Much to Joy’s dismay, her two children, Molly and Daniel are full of ideas and solutions to deal with her aging and loneliness. She loses sleep worrying that they may send her to a nursing home. Sympathetic to both Joy and her adult children - and the granddaughter who decides to prep for a bat mitzvah - the book’s sweetness, psychological perceptions and dry humor leaven its existential grimness.

Discussion led by Maud Naroll.